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[17 Jul 2003|02:44pm] |
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hey to all u deadjournal people just saying hi
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[16 Jun 2003|11:46am] |
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i meant to put that my grad party is the 22nd of june
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[15 Jun 2003|09:05am] |
hey everyone who reads this... consider this an invitation to my grad party....
Rachel's Graduation Party
where: My house
when: 3pm- whenever
R.S.V.P 236-9211
My Grad party is my older sister's and mine combined but there will be free food and cake so just stop by eat food and leave whenever the hell you want.
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[25 Apr 2003|11:09am] |
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hello so things are looking good except having to finish a research report and going back to school. these past few days have felt like summer and i hope they are like a sneek preview of summer. Yesterday was great i like that bryan so much i hate getting ahead of myself but i hope he likes me. Hes just a sweet heart and i want to give him a hug. well we went to franks time out yesterday not only to see if he was there but for mozzerella sticks and buffalo chicken cheese steaks. well fortunatley he was and i called his name to get his attention when he came out to the drink machine and he came over to talk to me and liezel the high lights were ...." sorry i didn'yt come to see u at work last night i fell asleep" i was shocke dhe said taht so i was leik wait what and he sai dit again and jess said i sounded very cool with a 'oo its ok .. yea colleen came in with sandra also we were talkign about 6 flags and i was like o love 6 flags and he said " were going again" jess and liezel think that was an attemp at an invite but i dont know. then we robbed a dollar store and i got some free animal undies ( thanks liezel) and some cool animal air freshiner for teh cougy baby. next we went to target and then to my work but my car broke so my daddy came to pick it up and we went to the diner with colleen and then home it was a successful day
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[18 Apr 2003|12:52pm] |
yesterday was an amazing way to start break
it all started on the way home from school me jess and my sister were u know acting cool and pat mccloski and some bill kid were behind us in the car. Well pat likes to throw pennnies at my car and i said no ur going too far today BUDDY so i was cutting in fron tof him and throwing stuff back at his car like pennies and homies. So they started follwing us and i wa smaking sharp turns to lose them i even had some off roading moments u know dust in the air style. i even bumped into him a few times. well we coudltn get them off my tail so i back up and went really fast and breaked like an inch from there car they were scared.. they we followed them and they follwe dus vise versa hey put some vasiline on my windsheild that was nasty.. it wa sso much fun eventually they gave up amking us the dukin queens.
so at like 530 i went to get jess and gabbi to go to the hammonton show we got there really early and duked pat reagan and grandpa. We returned to our spot and andy tim and justin showed up we tried to duke them but they just didnt understand. SO we went inside and it was so crazy sooo many weirdo kids were there i never saw so many early november shirts in one room. it was gross.
So anyway after fighting the croud to get our x we went in and sat then we saw jen and lisa and we went to sit with them. jess and eye were prairie doggin the men. yes we saw a few hotties including sergio and of coarse i told everyone about how i ate his moms candy lol. But ive loved him for yrs wayy before he was a "rock star"..
so then jen told me tim liked gabbi and i accidently said "jen doesnt he like her" and he was there oops so he was mad but gabbi said it was a good thing so i was off the hook. I remember the good old days of my liking Tim ahha alol so anyway andy showed us the mean girl meredith shes not very cute she has a pink face. lets see o hola dulce played very well. i have to admit the most entertaining thing about early november was watching the dikes dance on stage. but early november wasnt that bad. the other great event of the night was seeing gabbi "crab it" and jess looking cool with her cig. Jen ashiotes is baddddddd i told her to wash herself smelly girl o no. and lisa was very shy but gotta love her. so me jess an d gabbi left and were heading towards coffee works so i could give colleen her bathing suit and tim justin and adny called jess leik 5 minutes later cuz tim sweats gabbis balls. we got there and the works was closed. but i stole some chocolate espresso beans. we waited for the boys. we decided to go to taco bell but not without duking them on the way yea we lost those bee otches. we got to tocco bell and tim asked chris for free food. so we all smashed in his car 4 in the back seat i diditn want to drive my car too cuz chris doenst like me. then jen and jess appeared like in a dream but then they vanished so we got drinks and they gave us all kids of food. we ate out side on the bench. and andy " threw up" and it was cold i had a soft taco chalupa and a drink. next we went to some white horse diner and only ordered drinks we drew lots of pictures and meredith texted messaged andy see i was right i told him to wait for her and she will come crawling back then i took the girls home but my little cougar was racing tims car and andy was making obscene gestures in the window. and tim was hardcore staring at gabbi.(all night too) so when droppin ggabbi off i was tryign to duke away and hit her curb and staled out my car oops yes daisy cougar needs a rest for a month before duking it again ... il see u in may mccloski.
last night i coudlnt sleep because of the coffee so i wrote a poem.. here it goes
" So you dumped me for some ho.
and I called u but u werent home.
so i stalked u to the diner
where i fuckign popped ur tires
then we went in and we watched you
at a table with a nice view
yes our server's name was Jenny
and i payed her to spit in ur tea
so i left i was feeling satisfied
thinking of all the times taht u have lied
and we think u got what u derserved
now its time to go and fuck with her"
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[12 Apr 2003|01:56am] |
hello im bored and i have work all weekend i decided not to go to prom but now thats its too late to buy tickets i want to go so hopefully ill be able to buy 1 on monday and hopefully jen wood will too. well life is boring as usual and im a big loser as usual i seriously can't belive i couldnt find a date im definatly a loser i'm like josie grossy but even josie got asked as a joke no one would even go with me as a joke. GOd wel i stayed home today i had a headache and i felt nauseous but i had to go to work it was alright even tho i have to work all day tomorrow and sunday i think this summer i'm gonan give up my life and just read read read so i can pretend im a bunch of other people thats the one great thing about reading i wish i had the time i made leik a list of books i rellay want t o read and i can't wait till i have an hr to myslef to start buti have so much to do ..... i have to paint i have to sleep eating is a have to but i wish it wasn't im such a foodaholic well on my list of things ive given up on hw yes i have sritus schol is no longer a learning place its a long drawn out countdown to graduation and every tick of teh clock is one secound closer to freedom but than i remember college is school sometimes i forget that i will have to go trhough4 more yrs of a learning envronment granted its not highschool by anymeans but its still hard work and then i think well its only 4 yrs but then after collge theirs work and then u get old and die really there is no end its like u graduate highschool only to start the next "highschool" or college or whatever u want to call it. I dunno i probally make no sense
well want to hear something weird i never have nightmares not since ive been a child but the past 2nights i had nightmares in one a murderer wa safter me and my sister and in another this family was murdering all of tehre kids and putting them in these cloets things out side and a ritual involving blood had to be used also i had anotehr one but i forget it right now.. and imvery confused because i have a feeling another oeen will come tonight and im not scared but i almost want to get one so i can prove that someting weird is going on.. i dunno maybe its stress but i find this really weird. who knows
well tonight in a paper i read about an 80 yr old wowman who still partakes in oral sex it wa sfunny but gross i just thought id tell all of you this and at work colleens friends came in and brian cam ein a i thinki have a litle crush on him but its really weird becasue i used to be in "love" (not inlove but i just think hes hotter than hot) with his brother gary. so i think its weird for me to ever like brian because say for some odd reason he actually liked me ( but no guys like me rember so this is very hypothetical) but anyway gary know si sweat his balls so he woudl thinki wante dbrian to get closer to him and i care alot what otehr peopel think of me im just like that . O wel im getting ahead of myslef i hate when i dwell on "what if" so im stopping it gets me nowhere
i dont know why im writing so much but lately im feeling very alone and i think get comfort out of talking to my live journal and if no one reads this i dont care actually maybe i dont want anyone to read this because im just rambleing.
i feel like my world has stopped and everyone elses is still going maybe this makes no sense to u but it makes perfect sense to me i am in the same place i have been for yrs never any guys no break ups no new friends nothing i got a job thats about it... but everyone else has gone through so much andlearned so much through break ups and idiot guys and new guys and new experiences and new outlooks and changes and for the past yr ive been sitting back and watching everyone grow and watch there lives change so much but i look at mine and im exactly the same and no one can argue this to to be quite honest its very depressing and i cant wait till college because it will be the 1st new thing in forever i mean look at me im still the 8th grader that coudnlt find a date to the 8th grade dance but now its sr prom. I still that friend who always tries to give advice on guys but never needs it because she never has guys and im not depressed about not having a guy ive jsut accepted that no guys like me and i dont care im not looking for a guy anymore i mean its just depressing tho i mean i really am pathetic but i dont care and that the worst part about it and that is why i think i cant lose weight and i dotn care about school work because ive accepted the fact that im pathetic and i just dont care about anything or anyone anymore
ok well im sorry ill change the subject i have to tutor my neihbor for nhs in french taht should be interesting even though it hasnt benn 12 hrs im going to put that for tues and just tutor her for 12 hrs in the future but i am startign on sunday for like 3 hrs and i will on monday so thats almost 10 and i really only need 10
Ashley called me tonight she was the 1st person to call me in forever like without me calling them 1st i remember in jr high my phone used to ring off the hook for me but it doenst anymore
god im just in such a bad fucking mood an di think im getting cs on my report card and i just odnt get cs i feel like a falilure but i just want to sleep i slept 19 hrs last night how is taht possible? well i slept after school till11 then i stayed howm from school and slept from 12am till 2 pm and i would have slept longer if buffy wasnt barking
i took a bath yesterday and i stayed in teh tub for liek hrs just sitting and when teh water cooled down i just fille dit up again with hot water my hands were pruny and i dont know why im telling u this but that bath was very peaceful and im sorry i have alot of nothing to talk about but i want to talk about nothing i feel like all these unimportant details are clogging up my brain and i feel like getting them out this entry is very long so i doubt anyone is even still reading it so i don't care if i sound like a phyco maybe i won teven post this maybe ill detet this entry before anyone sees it it will be the lost entry u never got to read maybe ill pick up the phone and accidently get singed off im just so frustrated and its 1 40 in the morning and i could be sleeping i could be dreaming anout someone coming to kill me more nightmares or i coudl just stay awake all night an write more nothingness it doesnt matter what i do i geuss well i watched the movie the good girl it was very good i love jake gyllanhaal and i wish i was still in florida sometime si wish i didnt go to florda because coming home was very depressing for me i just want to go back ok well i think ive said everything i could possibly say goodnight
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| gfjfxgvmkj |
[09 Apr 2003|11:08pm] |
hello ... i have an aim screename finally.."Sorry Rachie" so im me i geuss. Today i went to the art museum and saw the Degas exhibit it was relaly cool eating in the rain under an open steel gazebo in the rain wasn't the highlight though. I loved teh paintings but i was mad because no one would let me look at the contempery art. I did see some things tho. Tonight i worked and i found out that this weekend i have to work fri 5 to 11:30 and sat 6 to 12:30 and sunday 11 to 5 and im so pissed off because they ruined my weekend. Jess Amatuzio came into work with some friends they invited me to an 80s prom it sounds like fun i hope i can go. Then i helped them jump there car. I dont know what i'm going to do about my prom im so embarresed to go alone and i have no money i just don't want to regret not going later. Im in the worst moods latly all i do is eat im not hungry an di eat i think its because ive been depressed latly and eating is just making it worse so i plan to start a diet tomoorw iand stick with it i have to talk to jen wood abotu prom if she wants to go ill go if not then im not going to bother i mean ill still go out after though .. i just wish this yr was over i just wish college was over and i had a husband and a job but i have a feeling il never make it through college or get a husband in that case i will become well i woudl say a nun but i want to convert to buddhist so a buhist priest maybe?? well there everyone i wrote theres my update of my pathetic life
i just want to run away to france and not speak to anyone just listen in on everyones french conversations and they can be the butt of my joke because they don't know i can understand
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[08 Mar 2003|08:28pm] |
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Hello all im grounded once again what a surprise... Today i went to play practice and missed out on a party... my life blows... I dont think i am going to prom. because no one is going to ask me and the person i thought wa sgoing to ask me inst now cuz " prom isn't his thing .. tomoorw is more rehearsal then i have to finish my research report. when im done updating im making a quiz at quizilla.com so everyoen take it it will be good i dunno what it is about yet but ill make it cool ok well im going to leave now everyone come see me in my god damn show or else
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| I called some fat girl dark wing duck today |
[27 Feb 2003|08:18pm] |
Cigarets and Chocolate MALES these are just a couple of my cravings every thing it seems I likes a little bit stronger a little bit THICKER a little but harmful for me.
Rufus knows what he is talking about
!O ThInGS YoU DoN'T CARE About 8uT !'m GoNNa Tell YoU AnYwaY
1. My play is opening soon and I'm draling jake gylanhot in art
2. I met a backstreet boy last thurs
3. Theres a HeShe at my work now
4. If I Don't get a date to prom in the next 2 weeks I'm not going.
5. I have -12 dollars in my wallet (I owe jenn wood $7 and my sister$5) My car insurance ($275) Is due the 2nd week of march and my niagra falls payment is due in march.
6. I cut school yesterday went in the building made jen come along and ran out. ...through out the day me and the rest of the "cutting crew" ice skated out side the movie theaters, I took a piss in the woods, saw bens step dad at barnes and nobles and ran to the car, went to the mall i chased birds, and most important of all i made this saying famous " That man's a pimp That man is a DAMN pimp"
7. I am going to make a shoe box home for my homies it will be gangsta
8. I'm gonna get laid this weekend
9. # 8 was my imagination taking over
10. I'm grounded yes grounded so i'll be home, on my ass, not getting laid this weekend hahaha getting laid
Man i crack myself up seriously I piss myself if no one ever reads this atleast i think I'm fucking funny as hell
ok well on a more serious note i can't wait till sr trip jenn wood has moved she is outa the ville it makes me sad I'm like the only one left isn't it ironic that I'm the whitest person you know but the last one to leave sicklerville well jess harmon and Ryann are white as hell too but i think i take the cake.
At work everyone calls me a turtle well Joe does Joe the prospective "professional poker player and masuse" yea
I can't wait for harry hotter5 to come out harry potter is my POT (er) yea its damn addicting i need the potter patch
GOD MY Life is fucking boring
JESUS CHRIst my fucking dog has a peice of paper stuck to his foot and he is crunching all around the house
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[18 Feb 2003|11:14am] |
hey well.... My blizzard of 03 experience
- rode.. and got dragged on a sled, by a quad in the snow
- watched a hella lot of tv... growing pains true hollywood story, Matilda, Jumunji, My big fat greek wedding,2 different Micheal jackson specials, Joe millionare, celebrity mole, the dating story... and much more
- attempted to do hw, still not done,
- listened and fell asleep to music
- argued with jenn wood about who played webster (Emanual lewis, or gary coleman)
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[09 Feb 2003|06:34pm] |
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IMA GONNA PISS IN MA PANTS hahaha read my live journal
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[04 Feb 2003|06:46pm] |
today
With anne marie jen and ben we dropped my sister off at school then went to palace
I had cheesey eggs... then we proceded to barnes and nobles where i bought supplies for Ashley's gift i also bought a magizine with my favorite men and a book called Frozen Rodeo it sounds good... Well apparently B and N is having a harry potter party at 12 at night when the new book comes out . I'm gonna be there. Next we went to target and looked for an open movie theaters we went to atco got raine don then drove to "lions head plaza" and the cinemark was closed next we walked to the dollar store and i bought nhs stuff. The day wasn't as exciting as we had hoped but eventually we just told mr burdack that there was a pep rally and we were coming home .. so we watche dteh boot legged version of just married after ben left me anna and jen fell asleep to tarzan the cartoon.
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[28 Jan 2003|07:10pm] |
there is far too much for me to say
things are changing i think we are all realizing this some more than others .... but to everyone change is good. it always is i promise everything will turn out better than before
we have college to look forward to and for some of us long nights of harry potter reading but we all have somthing to look forward to ... just remeber the past means nothing because its over but we all have a blank slate for the future so anything can happen
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| yes in fact! |
[12 Jan 2003|06:37pm] |
... I am updating... well my weekend was a waste... precious 48 hrs of my life.I can never get back.
Fri was fun ,though, i watched a movie with anna ben and rachel...
Sat and Sun work work work ... I did want to go to a show fri but it's ok.
well i'm becoming concerned i don't think i will have a date to prom hopefully i find a bf before may?
ok well sorry to bore you all with this.
god i have to be the most boring person i know
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[26 Dec 2002|08:39pm] |
well my christmas was ok other than Edna nicolson's passing she was my grandmom from camden who we used to make say "show me the $" I can't be too sad because she lived a long life and it's about time she joined her husband. I still remember when my pop pop in bead died i went to see him 2 days before he died ,i geuss i was 11, and on his death bed was saying to me and my little sister "i want to die,i want to die" his vioce sounded so sad he wasn't crying but his voice litterally shatterred my heart that wa sthe saddest thing i ever heard in my life and i rember saying to him "no you don't u don;t want to die" and his reply to me was like nothing i 'd ever heard kinda in a (u don't under stand voice) he just said thats what he wanted with that same tone of vioce that makes ur stomach turn.My grant grand mom was n't the same since that she went to the nursing home then the eltimers took over we used to visit her often then less often now i haven't seen her in ages and i have so much regret i wish i would have gone with my parents when it was her birthday i would have liked to see her one last time. i feel so much like i didn't care and i know for a fact if she wasn't dead today i woudlnt go see her.I woudlnt see her until she was dead i havent seen her in about 5 yrs I mean it was very depressing seeing my grandmom she diditn know who she was the last time i saw her she claimed to have a newborn child and that she went to town and had a nice dinner but none of these possible considering shes been in the nursing home for over 7 yrs., as far as never seeing her i geuss i thought shed be alive for ever i mean she was almost a hundred .
i think i should go to the funeral but i've never gone to one im still sa dtaht the only reason i'm going to see her is that she died..... i dotn know
well i had work tonight i climbed into my car from colleens without touching the floor the otehr night i went to palce and saw a million peopel there but some how i missed anne marie
i got alot of nice things for xmas i really like my old fashion looking turn table /cd palyer/tape player its really cool and the other stuff i got from my parents or santa and i also love all the things my frineds gave me an di love rollar coaster tycoon 2 even tho it's my sister's
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[26 Dec 2002|01:59pm] |
my great grandmom died today it didn't hit me till now
merry xmas
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[22 Dec 2002|03:55pm] |
i had work today now im bored me and jenn r gonna go some where i dunno tho ...no one is home atleast jenn called me back shes the only one that counts i geuss although i mad at her for not telling me the secret to harry potter 3 im excited about reading it im on pg 50 now well.. uh my work xmas party was ok my (very unrealistic) "prize" from winning pool..... well lets just say led to embarresment... yesterday i had a car full of people i 1st drove justin force and anna home then me jess harmon and my sister went to taco bell... next i drove home jess and went to the mall with jen wood did some shopping then went back to jen's house and made harry pottre cup cakes then wrap a shit load of gifts and showed up at annas by like 8:30.. there were alot of people there i got nice presents and i slept over then woke up watched donny darko drove home and cleaned my room now im leaving for work very soon and im annoyed because thursday this guy joe at work was mean to me so i flipped out at him and i dont feel like seeing him some one give me somthing fun to do over break im trying to go to south street and buy stuff as if i had money.... new yrs hanging out with jen and uhh possibly sleeping in a car .. yea plans damn you plans ok
bye i have to go join satan and his followers in the jucuzzi of haties ok bye
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[06 Dec 2002|04:28pm] |
well... christmas is coming im looking forward to a few things one xmas party impeticular then again dreading a few others... thinking about a few things:
the 70s and John Lennon ( good man)
dropping out of school and starting my solo act (me and my guitar I can't play)
giving up a dream
orange juice
Harry Potter
It's obvious theres alot on my mind well im thinking about a few cough a million cough other things but i don't need to bore you with them..
all i can hope for my future is to grow up ... and be as much like yoko ono as possible... shes an alsome woman and had an amazing husband hopefully my husband wont suffer the same fate ... but if i could marry anyone 1/2 as cool as john lennon id die a happy woman... ever since i went to the rock and roll hall of fame I've had a love of john lennon i saw his blood splashed sun glasses and the outfit he wore when he got shot.. i was watching vh1s 1970 and 1972 and it reminded me of how much i like john lennon... and the song imagine makes me smile with a feeling of sadness
well i have to finish xmas shopping i have a few more things well alot more things ot buy
alot has happend since i updated last which quite frankly i don't feel like telling you for one because i dont think u will care and if u pretend to care then it will be like everything else ive told you and im trying to start anew
i did my hair differntly and no oone is here to see it and im not allowed to drive anywhere
to be honest I look forward to one thing and one thing only throughout each day...reading harry potter I'm no longer living vicariously through The sims hot date but through the Harry potter series and i am almost done the 1st 2 books when i am finished i will die a slow painful death never knowing what truly happend to Harry
unless, i can get my hands on book 3
yes J.K Rowling has consumed me along with the thousand prepubescent children
one day someone will understand
and some day he will understand
hopefully,today, I will understand
im listening to some golden oldies if any of you care
there is one thing that i love monopoly i used to love babie hughie but he is dead and he died as for the rest of my fish there as good as dead to me
maybe one day i will remeber to feed them
i want to be like donny and do bad things because a rabbit tells me to do them atleast then i could blame what i did on someone else........................
usakj hgs;kjrgh ui;ghsdfk
what am i doing
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| ive given up on that |
[30 Nov 2002|07:04am] |
homecoming tonight... wonderful... went shopping with wood early yesterday morning, then work.. I bought an outfit I want to return the skirt but i dunno if i can. In a few minutes im going to work for my mom.
sometimes what you don't want is everything that you need
and sometimes what you need is the worst thing for you.......
I can't help but wonder... If this is a plan ..... or ... nevermind
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